Preoccupied Elsewhere… In Case I Appear to Disappear

My last post was on Valentine’s Day, and while it was a Happy Day, and felt like maybe a step back into a more regular blogging role, I regret to say that it was the same day that my life may have changed forever. It can really happen overnight, and it is eye-opening. I’ll share a little here, because as distant as we may be, I do know that I have amazing friends amongst the fandom, and I could really use your prayers, positive thoughts, well-wishes. But if I don’t spend a lot of time on responses, please know that my life was busy as of 2 weeks ago, and now it’s complicated in ways I can’t fully comprehend. Or, I may just be emotional, overwhelmed or otherwise unable to formulate words.

So Feb 14. In the morning I did a surgery and felt my right hand numb/tingling almost as if the hand fell asleep afterward. It occasionally happens if my hand gets fatigued or maybe my surgical glove is too tight, but goes away after 20 minutes. That day, it never went away. Later in the day, same pin/needles feeling in my right foot. Still later, an area on my right thigh. Fast forward through the days to Sunday, by which time I’ve seen my primary care family medicine doctor and had baseline bloodwork (all normal) and ordered an MRI of the brain for Monday… the entire right side of my body, torso, limbs, side of head, ear, but fortunately not the face, all numb/tingling and easily fatigued. Still have decent motor function and coordination, not falling, still actually able to type and give injections, and even do simple surgeries, but not able to lift even 10 lb Roxie into the car using the right arm, and by 1 week later, Tues 2/21, the idea of chopping 2 stalks of celery, 1/2 onion and some Polish sausages to fix a simple dinner was a tear-inducing and impossible ordeal after a long day at work.

I’m fortunate that Hubby’s cousin is a well-loved oncologist here in town, and is an amazing advocate, calling in advance to smooth the way and see that I’m squeezed in for whatever testing is required and getting in with a great neurologist who was fully booked and also about to be leaving on vacation. I saw him Thursday with my initial MRI results and while he’s leaning toward a diagnosis of a rapid/fairly aggressive form of Multiple Sclerosis, apparently it’s generally a diagnosis of exclusion, so while he’s on vacation, I’m having a lot more tests and we’ll reconvene to go over the results next Monday.

Yesterday I had several tests including a pretty unpleasant lumbar puncture to collect cerebrospinal fluid for analysis, 21 large tubes of blood drawn for more advanced testing of autoimmune and other obscure disorders, an IV catheter placed for a daily infusion of a whopping 1000mg steroid at the hospital once daily for 5 days (thankfully, all this is outpatient), and I’ve had to be on my back for 24 hours following the lumbar puncture. I also had an echocardiogram in there somewhere… all kind of a blur. Monday afternoon I’ll have a bigger and better MRI of the brain plus entire spinal cord which may take several hours of holding still. Then we wait and see what we have.

My dad has MS, diagnosed when he was 55 years old, and apparently, while not directly heritable, it can tend to run in families. There are other possibilities, but the initial MRI showed several areas of demyelination in my brain. Thankfully, doesn’t look like a tumor. The biggest concern so far is that one of the lesions is in the brainstem, and that is one of the worst locations, and the reason for the big gun steroids to try to slow the really rapid progression and salvage my right hand because it is absolutely necessary to my profession. I will not be a successful veterinarian without full use and sensation in my right hand. The leg being numb, I can work with. The hand… whole different story. The steroid injection has improved me dramatically, so I have high hopes that 4 more of those and I’ll be feeling pretty fantastic. Literally already feel about 50% better after the first injection. (also buzzed… up typing energetically at 5am on a Saturday!!) LOL

I have a wonderful Hubby and a lot of local family support. I’d rather this happened to me than to my husband or my children or anyone else, but it is really, really scary. So Mr. Armitage is firmly on the back burner while we wait to see what happens. But please do keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. I’ll try to update when I know more

— J

 

 

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96 comments

  1. Esther · February 25

    Oh my goodness, this is scary!!! I’m so sorry this is happening to you! I’ll keep you in my thoughts. (((Hugs)))

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Esther. It really is scary, and thank you for the hugs. But I try to count my blessings, too. My Young Love has never in his life given me so many long, snuggling hugs on a daily basis. =)

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Guylty · February 25

    Jenn – if I prayed, I would pray now for a speedy, reliable diagnosis. Instead, I am sending you ALL my love right now. Don’t worry about not blogging – concentrate on getting well. We are here to wait for you and/or distract you whenever you have time to look in. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · February 25

      I really feel like the work-up ordered by my (kinda sexy) neurologist is very thorough, and I am hoping we’ll have a good game plan within the week. And I can’t probably stay away completely. Armitaging is pretty ingrained, even when I’m not actively writing, I keep an eye on all this stuff…. =)

      Like

      • Guylty · February 27

        Hey, there is no better distRAction…

        Like

  3. CraMERRY · February 25

    Oh Jenn, this is HORRIBLE! My thoughts are with you and your familiy. As you said, sometimes life happens. Send you hugs!

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thanks, C… I really appreciate the hugs and the well wishes. Life does throw curve balls and this one has me knocked sideways for sure.

      Like

  4. Cath · February 25

    Sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong. X

    Like

    • zeesmuse · February 25

      My heart and prayers are with you and your family! Praying for the best!!!

      Like

      • jholland · February 25

        Thanks, Zee. So appreciative. I think my family may need it more than me. Especially Hubby. He puts on a brave face, but he’s scared to death. =)

        Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Cath. I am so very appreciative of prayers. And I will do my best to stay strong. =)

      Like

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  6. Buffy Brinkley · February 25

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Sending positive vibes your way and lots of hugs!

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you so much, Buffy. This outpouring of hugs and positive vibes has been a huge boost to me today. Feeling the love for sure. (((hugs)))

      Liked by 1 person

  7. linnetmoss · February 25

    What an intense and terrifying experience. I am sad that this is happening to you, and hopeful given that you are responding so well to the treatment. I will be thinking about you and your family and your feline/canine friends, who need you to get well!

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thanks, Linnet. I’ve had some really low points. I think having a background in medicine is both a blessing and a curse. When you can pretty well localize your lesion to the brainstem or the left side of your brain within a matter of 24 hours, it get’s scary fast. I will be heartbroken if I can’t continue to practice. Thankfully modern medicine has come a long way, and we are pretty hopeful.

      Liked by 1 person

      • linnetmoss · February 26

        Both a blessing and a curse, yes, I can see that. But I’m glad that you have hope.

        Like

  8. Hariclea · February 25

    Oh Jenn, i can’t believe this is happening to you. I wish i could just blink and be there and hug you very very tightly!!! I hope they can give you a diagnosis soon, sorry about all the nasty tests you’re having to go through. You are in my thoughts and heart and prayers. Thank you for letting us know so that we may send all our love your way. xxx

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Aw, Hari. I would love to have a big, warm hug from you! *sniffs*… I will keep you posted. Neurological issues are always pretty scary and unpredictable, but I am fortunate to be in a pretty decent location for a high standard of care. I’m hanging in there. The steroids are pretty fabulous… now I know how some of the sick critters feel when I give them a steroid injection. Quite a boost, even if it’s not necessarily the best long term solution. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Violet · February 25

    Jenn: Even though we don’t know each other personally, I truly mean it when I say that I wish you and your family didn’t have to go through this trial. I have two friends who suffer from MS and your story touches my heart. I am, however, glad that you are not alone at this time. Thank goodness for your loving family – especially your husband. As you well know, this life is full of trials and tribulations, many of which cannot be explained. Your positive attitude is impressive and will serve you well. It’s okay to be frustrated, scared, angry or whatever other emotions you will or have felt; it’s what makes us human.

    When I was 22 yrs. old I was sidelined and unable to walk after a terrible fall down a flight of stairs. I shall never forget what it felt like to be 100% dependent on my mother to take care of me, or the fear of not being able to sit down to eat, drink water or take my medications. I spent ten weeks in my bed at home; couldn’t use a pillow or even lift a book! So yes, having to let my mother keep me clean and hygienic; being alone in bed for hours, etc. felt like a great trial. However, I got to think deeply about my relationship to Jesus Christ during that time; about what I would do if I never walked again. I made the decision to not give in to fear; to fight with all my might to make the best out of my situation. With the support of my loved ones, I didn’t give in to despair and – miraculously – was able to learn to walk again after my complicated and dangerous surgery.

    I had no idea why all of that had happened. Ten years later my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Five years after that, she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s as a result of a serious head injury suffered years earlier after a fall on an escalator at a department store. I became her full-time caregiver. As you can imagine, I then realized she and I had come full circle. My painful ordeal as a young adult had prepared me to understand how my mother was feeling when she finally ended up bedridden, having to depend completely on me to take care of her. I was so grateful that I could repay a measure of all the love and care she had always given me, selflessly. I understood how she felt! She died five months later.

    I do not know what lessons you and your family will learn from your illness, nor how it will effect changes that will allow all of you to grow spiritually. I can, however, assure you that you will become more united as a family and your love and understanding for each other will make you stronger.

    May Our Heavenly Father give you peace. May you be surrounded by the certainty that you are not alone in this. Like I said, even though we don’t know each other, I do care. I am 100% sure that others here in the RA online family also wish you all the best as you face the challenges of this stage of your life. I pray that you can feel the positive energy and prayers we are sending your way.

    I’m sending you a big hug from Texas. If you ever need to vent, feel free to DM me on Twitter @chattypatra. My friends tell me I’m a good listener, so I guess it must be true. I am at your service. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. And I know that these kinds of trials can sometimes have unforeseen blessings on down the road. It certainly reaffirms my relationship with my husband and my total appreciation to God for choosing such an amazing, supportive, and loving mate for me. Nothing like a situation like this to remind us of how powerless we really are some times. I so very much appreciate the story you shared about your mother caring for you, and you caring for her in return, years later- its a beautiful testimony. Thank you for your prayers. – j

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Perry · February 25

    Jenn, thanks for sharing. I am so sorry this has happened. It sounds like you’re in excellent hands and responding well. Sending all positive thoughts to you.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but at the same time, I couldn’t have a better support system, and I have been pleasantly surprised by the quality of care I have received. I’m so thankful for your kind words and positive vibes. =) I’ve teared up at all these messages today.

      Like

  11. Helen · February 25

    I am so, so sorry to hear your news. Why do horrible things happen to the best people? I can’t imagine how worried you and your family must be but I’m certainly going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers – first of all for a rapid diagnosis and then for access to the best treatment possible. Thank goodness you have a wonderful family who I know will support you brilliantly. Huge hugs, and please let us know what is happening when you are able to. ❤

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Helen. I wish I could explain why this sort of thing happens to anyone… the kids have asked and it’s a tough question to try to answer! But you are right, I have so many positives on my side. I was telling Hubby tonight I don’t know what I would do or would have done if I had to face this on my own, without his shoulder to lean on, or without the many friends and family who are dropping everything to jump in and help out keeping the kids’ lives as normal as possible as we are thrown into this whirlwind of hospital visits and doctor’s offices. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Gratiana Lovelace · February 25

    Dear Jenn, I’m so sorry for your illness. I hope and pray that the doctors will be able to find the right diagnosis for you. But at least some of their initial treatments are giving you some relief. So that is a blessing. I had a friend with some of your symptoms and it turned out she was leaking spinal fluid. She ended up going to either Northwestern in Illinois or the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota for treatment. She is better now, but still has regular checkups. Your getting the right diagnosis and then the doctors treating your symptoms and causes is key. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Please let me know if I can help in any way. You have my support and encouragement always. Much Hugs & Love! Grati

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · February 25

      Totally… as much as it is scary, I was truly terrified that I might have a brain tumor. My grandmother died of brain cancer at a relatively young age, and within a few months. So while something like MS can be debilitating, I’m crossing my fingers and counting my blessings already that at least the initial findings are not what my Granny had. And yes… a big blast of steroids are pretty miraculous, I’m finding. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

      • Gratiana Lovelace · February 25

        Blessings for your silver lining positive thoughts about your possible diagnosis not being worse!
        And who knew that steroids could be so versatile as a medicine to shrink lesions, herniated discs, etc.–rather than pumping us up like Arnold? Ha! Hugs & Love!

        Like

        • jholland · February 25

          Lol… these aren’t the anabolic steroids that pump up the muscles… haha! These are the glucocorticoids… more likely to fatten me up around the waist! But if my hand gets back to normal, I’ll gladly plump up. *snickers*

          Liked by 1 person

  13. Servetus · February 25

    I will be praying for you and your family. You’re on the post-it note on my steering wheel that I inherited from my mom. May the Holy One send you a complete healing and a revival of strength, a complete renewal of body and spirit. May G-d also bless the doctors who are treating you with insight and skill.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Serv. When I read this, about the post-it note, I lost it. I’m so touched, and thank you for the signal boost, as well. I can barely believe the love that poured forth on the blog and behind the scenes. And whether its the steroids or the influx of prayers, well wishes and positive vibes… I’m feeling pretty good at the moment! =)

      Liked by 2 people

      • Servetus · February 25

        don’t steroids make people homicidal? or enlarge their breasts? or something? [clueless].

        Like

        • jholland · February 25

          Well, my rather lovely neurologist said I’d be “flushed” and “maybe irritable” (with a wink to Hubby). I have kind of liked the light flush so far… though beet red wouldn’t be too attractive, right now I just have some color in my cheeks. I might have been homicidal if I hadn’t been driven with all haste to the nearest margarita today. LOL. I definitely need nothing in the way of a breast enhancement. There are lots of types of steroids, though… these are not the sex steroids or the anabolic steroids. Just the good old glucocorticoids, which make you thirsty and hungry and pretty peppy, I’m finding. =)

          Liked by 1 person

        • Servetus · February 25

          Having a light flush means never having to worry about the wind chill 🙂 Seriously, I’m glad it’s not “those” steroids.

          Liked by 1 person

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  15. Elizabeth Anne Coble · February 25

    Sweetheart I’m sending you all the posivibes I can muster and then some and I am praying to god to send some more Guardian angels to watch over you and your family during this time… God bless sweetheart

    Sent from my iPad

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you so very much. I’m definitely feeling the love. God Bless you, as well. =)

      Like

  16. Evie Arl · February 25

    Hey. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better or to ease your struggle. I won’t say feel better soon because I know that for someone with a chronic condition it can feel like soon won’t come. I will instead say please be kind to yourself, emotionally. You are strong enough and you are worth all the love, support and good wishes that people are sending are sending your way. Keep on keeping on and a virtual hug is on its way to you now with all the positive vibes one person can send. Best always, Evie x

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Oh, Evie. Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m really in a state of shock and awe after reading all these words of encouragement. So blessed to have not only a wonderful RL support system, but to be a part of an online community full of deeply kind and caring fellow wellwishers. ((hugs))

      Like

  17. DaphneHS · February 25

    Oh Jenn. I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am that this is happening to you. I’m so glad that you have great medical and family support , and know that your many fandom friends are rooting for you! Sending you love and prayers.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thanks, Daphne! I’m hanging in there, and it’s ups and downs, but truly, now, I am feeling better on the steroids. I’m actually predicting that tomorrow I’ll be back into that quilting room for at least a little while, I bet! And you’d appreciate my neurologist, I think. He’s got that little something something. It’s the little things. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Bonnie Williams · February 25

    Oh my dear. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. My brother has had MS for 30+ years. I also suffer from a rare, “orphan” disease. If you want to chat, please feel free to contact me.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      I’m sorry to hear that, about your brother and about yourself. I know that in the past decade or so they have come a long way with some of the medications for MS, so I’m trying hard not to completely freak out yet. Thanks for your kind words and the offer of someone to talk to. I really appreciate it. =)

      Like

  19. Mimi Cruz · February 25

    Thank you for sharing, you have my best hopes and thoughts.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Mimi. I’m wondering why I didn’t share earlier, after all this influx of good vibes. =)

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Babette · February 25

    I’ve never replied here before, but I’ve been reading your blog quite often since you started it and you have always made me laugh and I feel like you are a kindred spirit. I’m very sorry to hear that you are going through all of this, and I do hope that everything turns out all right for you. As you can see, many people are thinking of you, praying for you, and sending you best wishes and good thoughts — look after yourself and try not to worry too much. (I know, easier said than done). You seem like an extremely positive person, and that, in my view, is always really important when it comes to one’s health. (PS I know what you mean about the steroids — I had to take prednisone for five days last month and I felt SO buzzed — in a good way!) Good luck with all of the tests. I wish you well.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Babette, and welcome to you and to all the new commenters! I’m so blessed and so touched. I also believe that trying to stay positive is helpful for healing. And the steroids are really funny. I came home after my hospital infusion, took a 3 hour nap, then woke up with a rampaging appetite, practically running out the door with the family rushing to keep up (after I’ve been the slowest person ever for the past week) in search of really fast Mexican food. Starving!!!! LOL

      Like

  21. armitagebesotted · February 25

    This is awful. Do surround yourself with a quilt that gives off good vibes. We are all pulling for you.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Besotted. I happen to usually have a pretty big selection of good vibe quilts. Unfortunately the kids have created forts and tunnels all over the living room using furniture and quilts while I was napping today… but I like to see them acting like normal kids! Thank you for your kind words here and in the e-mail. I’ll be in touch for sure!

      Like

  22. Mermaid · February 25

    So sorry to hear about this. I hope for the best for you. From your description it sounds as though you are in the best hands. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Mermaid. I am fortunate in so many ways, from the good quality of care to the friends near and far and the family who has been so supportive. Bless you.

      Like

  23. seekers14 · February 25

    Prayers for you and your family. Courage! Resolve! Perseverance! Chocolate! RA vids!

    Blessings to you. All manner of things shall be well.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Yes! Chocolate for sure! I was dieting, but between the need for comfort and now the crazy steroid appetite… that is going to just have to wait. Thank you for your prayers and for the smiles.

      Like

  24. JennyS · February 25

    Hi Jenn,
    I was so sorry to read your blog today. We haven’t spoken directly, but I always enjoy your posts wherever I find them, so I wanted to give you my very best wishes for the best possible outcome, together with a great big virtual hug — if you feel okay about accepting one from what amounts to a total stranger on the interweb.
    I will be thinking of you and sending out positive vibes.
    Love,
    Jenny.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Jenny. All these virtual hugs and kind words from friends I’ve met and friends I have not… incredibly encouraging and such a boost. Truly. Thank you! =)

      Like

  25. Kathy Jones · February 25

    Dear Jenn, I was just thinking about you recently, with a dash of envy. About what a great life you have with your farm and beautiful family, and on top of everything else a satisfying and challenging career. You have created a great balance of work and family and a (Serv word), bucolic life. How you could find time to start a blog and quilt and all of the other things you do? I am glad you are better now, and wish you the best of outcomes. You are indeed lucky to have such wonderful people to take care of you.When things get you down, remember laughing hysterically while careening up and down the road from hell. And meandering across the unavoidable bridge, which appeared as inevitably as the sun rising. Hugs and Love.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · February 25

      It occurs to me, Kathy, that my distance from the Corinth Canal might be having a deleterious affect on my health. You know it’s where I’m meant to be. LOL! Thank you for the hugs and love. I am very encouraged today, and really responding at least for the short term, to these steroid blasts. The rate I’m going, I should be pretty good to get back to work on Monday…. just hoping they have some lasting power until we get the definitive diagnosis and can start the long-term treatment. =)

      Like

  26. saraobsessed · February 25

    You, your family & your medical team are in my prayers. Focus on your health first, enjoy whatever Richard you can, and let us know how you are doing when you can.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Sara… I have never been so in need of prayers. And Richard is, indeed, good medicine! I’ll try to keep posting as things progress.

      Like

  27. squirrel.0072 · February 25

    Getting sick while you are a caregiver is the worst possible situation. Moreover, the waiting period before a final diagnosis, which will give rise to an effective treatment, is a period always too long and too anxiogenic, to be bearable. But you are not suffering alone, we send good fan’s vibes to you, from all over the world, in memory of all the splendid quilts you have sewed and your always fun writings.
    Know that “Brain on Fire” has a positive outcome, that many of similar diseases like MS do not end in the worst scenario. Make the most with the super powers, which provides you a high-dose steroid shoot. I summon you to take time for you, YOU who always had to sacrifice yourselves for others causes.
    I send you Richard Armitage in a white coat to look after you and to whisper in your ear: Hang over! As Radagast my idol, or the celtic Astérix did, I prepare a special magic potion jar, including my secret composition, “made according to art”, as any good pharmacist or French wizard must concoct.
    I am with you and will follow you whatever happens. Yours Radagast…

    Like

    • squirrel.0072 · February 25

      Une précision pour les puristes, fans de BD. Dans la bande dessinée “Astérix” de René Goscinny et Albert Uderzo, c’est le druide Panoramix qui prépare la potion magique pour le gaulois: Astérix .
      A clarification for the purists, the fans of comics. In the comic book “Asterix” by René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo, it is the druid Panoramix who prepares the magic potion for the Gallic: Astérix,.

      Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you, Squirrel… I’m thankful for your kind words, your encouragement, the vision of Richard in a white coat, and whatever concoction you wish to stir up! Much appreciated! (((hugs)))- J

      Like

      • squirrel.0072 · February 26

        I am an unconditional follower of humor, as a weapon of defense. To have humor is to know how to laugh at oneself in the face of the worst; It is a way of being accepted by others (close, caring), while one is in a state of weakness; it is a means to establish a distance, an estrangement with the reality that can hurt and, therefore, is to be able to protect psychically oneself and others. The absurd, the witticism are bursts of life in the face of adversity. The absurd is the very symbol of humor. It refers to the third degree when it refers to Surrealism, the absurd and the offbeat. Intellectual work, to find the right turn of absurd thought, procures such intellectual satisfaction, that one forgets for a time the reality and its cruelty. I like the image of a rainbow, in a black blue sky after the storm. Keep the strength of being able to laugh at the absurdity of life, to jump not to fall into the ditch!

        Like

  28. squirrel.0072 · February 25

    “fan’s good vibes” so sorry

    Like

  29. SueBC · February 25

    Hi Jenn… You definitely have the good wishes and support of the RA fandom family, including myself. I hope that you swiftly get the correct diagnosis and the most effective treatments. Let your supportive family and your wonderful sense of humour get you through all of this.
    Your blog was the first one I followed, because all your hilariously funny stories really lifted me up (e,g, when your hubby read your blog!!!).
    On the use of steroids, if you’re anything like me… watch out! They take me from a methodical decision-maker to being extremely spontaneous. I was prescribed some the last time I had dental surgery — and ended up buying a house!
    Keep strong.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · February 25

      Oh, thank you… yes, I am surrounded by a lot of love in both real life and apparently, the world over. And for sure, these steroids are eye-opening. My spontaneity has not reached the level of a new property purchase- but I have a few more infusions to go… so who knows. I did have the urge for a Margarita and big Mexican dinner, STAT, when I woke up from my nap. There was no stopping me. Pretty much straight out of bed and out the door, family scrambling behind me. Go Go GO!

      Liked by 2 people

  30. Widoedm53 · February 25

    I’m so sorry to read this news, Jenn. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts. I pray that your illness will be identified and treated successfully and that you’ll soon be on the road to recovery. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers ❤️

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you so much… I am cautiously optimistic today. I feel like I’ve gone back about a week in time- still not normal, but feeling stronger and symptoms gradually regressing. Thank you so much for your prayers. We need them! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Glady (@GladyRoland) · February 25

    Hi Jennifer, I’m so sorry about these news but I’m glad there is hope for some improvement! I’m thinking of you, praying for you and I’m sending you lots of love. I am sure that you will find the courage to fight this illness with the help of your wonderful family. Don’t forget to smile, you are stronger that you know! Please, keep us informed! x

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Oh, thank you, Glady. There is always hope, and I am fortunate to have access to excellent diagnostics and medicine. Even more fortunate for my friends and family and virtual community. I have smiled more today than I have for the past 10 days. Love- J

      Like

  32. Andrea Númellóte · February 25

    Sorry to hear this happening to you. You and your family are in my thoughts. Keep fighting!

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      I will keep fighting. Thank you, Andrea. It’s amazing how encouraging an outpouring of good thoughts and wishes can be. =)

      Like

  33. Bollyknickers · February 25

    ((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Aw, thank you! I need them and love them! ((((HUGS RIGHT BACK))))

      Like

  34. Kathy Jones · February 25

    Rereading my words to you, I sound unsympathetic to my ears. I hope my effort at cheerfulness helped a little. In no way did I mean to minimize your illness. And the “feeling better” part was in response to your recent treatment prior to your diagnosis. I am sending all love and positive thoughts to you and your family.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      No, no no! You give me the biggest smiles, and you didn’t come off as unsympathetic. I like some teasing and jokes. I am not above taking advantage of my illness anyway. Already told Hubby that if nothing else, I’m kind of looking forward to obtaining a handicapped parking tag. Always really wanted one of those. LOL!

      Like

      • Kathy Jones · February 26

        Yes, that is a huge perc. Now you will get the best spots. Silver lining = better parking. Love and hugs . Looking forward to a reunion, maybe the canal is calling.

        Liked by 1 person

  35. Be66 Seltz · February 25

    Hallo, I never wrote to you but I have been reading your blog from time to time. I am very sorry to read this news. Even if I am a stranger to you I wish you and your family all the best, courage and force for the treatment. My thoughts are with you.

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Hallo, and welcome! Your kind words and encouragement are most welcome. I thank you, and it reminds me that I need to remember to give a word of encouragement or a smile to a stranger more often. It can make all the difference. =)

      Like

  36. Hedgehogess · February 25

    Life is not fair … 😦
    I hope you’ll be better soon.

    Keeping all fingers, toes, and spikes crossed for you! ❤

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Thank you! Fingers and toes, I understand… But spikes?? Life really isn’t fair, but often there is a silver lining somewhere. I have hopes it will be better soon. (((hugs)))

      Like

      • Hedgehogess · February 26

        Well, if crossing fingers and toes brings good luck, then hopefully crossing hedgehog spines will do the same. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • jholland · February 26

          Oh, LOL… obviously I’m not firing on all cylinders. Yes, cross the spines! =)

          Like

  37. Mezz · February 25

    You are in my thoughts.

    Like

  38. SHeRA · February 25

    Oh sweetie…. I’m so sorry you are going through this, but so glad to pray for you & your family. I’ve tasted impairment & my heart is going out to you. As some others have said, your positivity and humor will serve you well, as will your precious family support. Praying the worst will very soon be behind you ❤ (I also need more data on this neurologist 😀 ) Hugs xx

    Like

    • jholland · February 25

      Haha– hopefully Hubby doesn’t get into this comment thread too far. But yeah. The neurologist is just rather easy on the eyes and has some sort of casual confident aura. He’s not like a super model, but he has some mojo. LOL! Thanks for your prayers, SHeRA. Really grateful.

      Liked by 1 person

      • armitagebesotted · February 26

        I was gonna ignore it, but SHeRA went there, too, so…the neurologist. Dr. Track, one hopes?

        Like

        • jholland · February 26

          Definitely not on par with Dr. Track. I wasn’t panting and falling over in a swoon or anything. But he has a nice smile, a brisk/direct/confident air, and kind of hooded eyes, which I like. To be honest, he puts me in mind of a clean cut Tom Hardy, though his voice is definitely not similar. It’s no hardship, trust me. =)

          Like

  39. Teuchter · February 26

    Oh my dear! My heart goes out to you and your family at this stressful time. I know what it’s like to get scary news (in my case, being diagnosed with breast cancer – which was thankfully caught really early – lump removed and keeping well). So be assured that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Prayer undoubtedly got me through more than one health issue so I know it works! 🙂
    PS I didn’t have Dr Track do my surgeries but had a really cute guy nevertheless!! 😉

    Like

    • jholland · February 26

      Thanks for the encouragement, Teuchter, and I will pray for your continued remission in return. A nice looking physician is most certainly a plus in any column. =)

      Like

  40. obscura · February 26

    My dear intrepid stunt driving mate – I’m praying for a speedy diagnosis and best outcome for you. I am in awe of your amazing grace and humor! But then, I only have to remember you giggling as we careened up that steep, curvy gravel goat path that served as a road and I grin from ear to ear!! Sending all sorts of healing mojo your way Jen!!

    Like

    • jholland · February 28

      Aw, thanks for the uplifting memories… so funny. BEEP BEEP BEEEEEP! I’m hanging in there. Yes, send the mojo my way. =)

      Like

  41. suzy · March 13

    Oh god, I am so sorry! Big hugs and I wish you much strength to go through this horrible time ❤

    Like

    • jholland · March 13

      Thank you, Suzy. I’m doing fine at the moment… hopefully going to start treatment soon. ((Hugs))

      Like

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