Limerick: Rat-Tail

rat tail 1

You can see it a little in this shot. Sigh. The damn thing is about 6 inches long.

 

Last year on this day, my young love pranked me

So this morning I returned that favor with glee

His reaction was volcanic

Quite a moment of panic

For a minute, I thought he might pee!

 

But first a little background: my child’s favorite claim to fame

Is something that brings me considerable shame

Remember the eighties?

And the hairstyles so shady?

Well, my son rocks a “rat-tail” that’s lame.

 

When he was two, I allowed my mother-in-law

To take charge of his haircuts, but she has one fatal flaw:

Her nostalgia is immense

And overrides her good sense

And Hubby’s hair, as a child, should’ve been outlawed.

 

Yes, unfortunately Hubby once had a rat-tail, too

Which she’s related with pleasure, a time or two

So though I wanted to shrivel

I had to be civil

Then my own child became attached to his fashion taboo!

 

How many times have I tried to plead?

“Let’s cut off that rat-tail! It’s not something you need!”

“I like it! No, LOVE it” says my stubborn boy

No matter the tactics I try to employ.

“No one else has one!” to which I concede.

 

Of course no one has one! They’ve gone out of style!

But I don’t want to be mean, so I have to just smile…

Though I’ve a plan up my sleeve

My goal I’ll achieve!

All thanks to my hairdresser’s wile.

 

When she heard about the rat-tail, my hairdresser shrieked!

“Aren’t you afraid other kids will call him a geek?!?

I never knew that from any of the pictures you post!”

Well of course not! It’s not something about which I boast!

Thankfully she came up with a solution that’s very unique!

 

I recently made her suggested proposition…

And tricked my child into a compassionate mission:

We’ve arranged a “donation”

For a poor hairless patient

It’s SO WRONG! But he agreed of his own volition!

 

In return for his gesture of goodwill for someone who’s bald

He gets a hairdo for summer that will have grandma appalled!

He wants to go punk rock

With a ruby red Mohawk!

Which I approved of, though Hubby’s not enthralled.

 

But back to this morning, and my April Fools joke

He was busy brushing his teeth and didn’t notice the slight poke…

I pinned up his rat-tail in his sister’s hair clip

Then took out some scissors and made a loud snip!

“Goodbye, old rat-tail!” I cheerfully spoke!

 

With a gasp, his hand flew to the back of his neck!

And feeling nothing there, he shouted “WHAT THE HECK!!?”

“I know it’s not summer yet,” I started to say

As he turned around frantically, totally betrayed!

“APRIL FOOLS!” was delivered with a fond peck! =)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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22 comments

  1. Servetus · April 1, 2016

    HEART ATTACK! Well, that’s an April Fool’s Day he’ll never forget. I’d watch out if I were you 🙂

    Like

    • jholland · April 1, 2016

      No doubt he’s been scheming all day…. =) (And yeah, he did practically have a heart attack!)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Guylty · April 1, 2016

    hahahaha, you are terrible! Your poor boy!!! (I am secretly on your side, though – those rat-tails are awful… He’ll grow out of it, though!)

    Like

    • jholland · April 1, 2016

      Well, it’s been five years since the rat-tail was initialized, and he still thinks it’s the coolest. Luckily he thinks a ruby red Mohawk is even cooler. TERRIBLE hair taste, that child. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Helen · April 1, 2016

    Hehehe – well done you! 😄

    Like

    • jholland · April 1, 2016

      It was pretty funny! And nobody laughed louder than him, once he found it safe and sound in the hair clip!!

      Like

  4. richardtreehouse · April 1, 2016

    hahaha! I love it when the grown-up pulls one over on the kid 😉

    Like

    • jholland · April 1, 2016

      I do believe it was one of my finer moments! =)

      Like

  5. carlyquinnauthor · April 1, 2016

    That is Mothering, expert level. Well done!

    Like

    • jholland · April 1, 2016

      *Snickers* There are moms, and then there are Jedi moms. =) j/k

      Like

  6. Perry · April 1, 2016

    Great Mom, and also pretty good daughter in law.

    Like

  7. linnetmoss · April 2, 2016

    The Ballad of the Rat Tail 🙂 For shriveling moms everywhere, LOL

    Like

    • jholland · April 4, 2016

      It is very painful. Nothing says “redneck family stuck in the eighties” quite like it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • linnetmoss · April 4, 2016

        Except a mohawk. But mohawks do seem to have this universal timeless quality, don’t you think? LOL. By the way, I think he looks very much like his papa!

        Like

        • jholland · April 4, 2016

          Granted, a mohawk isn’t necessarily my favorite option, but it does have potential to be a little more edgy than a rat-tail! Mohawks do have a timeless quality, whereas rat-tails are just horrendous in every situation. LOL! And yeah, he looks very similar to Daddy… especially Daddy as a child. =)

          Liked by 1 person

        • linnetmoss · April 4, 2016

          Oh yes, I bet the resemblance is amazing! Now I am waiting for pix of the Mohawk 🙂

          Like

        • jholland · April 5, 2016

          Duly noted. I hope I don’t hate it MORE than the rat-tail. =)

          Liked by 1 person

  8. Gratiana Lovelace · April 9, 2016

    Very cute limerick! And very clever strategy with your son! Ha!

    Like

    • jholland · April 9, 2016

      Thanks! (Never thought I’d be so eager to see a mohawk on my own child!) lol

      Liked by 1 person

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