Richard Armitage Impresses Even The Most Horrible People

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Richard Armitage at Syrian Refugee Center, Berlin, 2016. I wonder if the little girl in the lower left was the laughing “Cinderella” whose sweeping duties were completed by Richard…

 

That’s right. I’m sure everyone probably saw Richard’s lovely, heartfelt account of his visit to the Syrian Refugee center over the weekend, and if you haven’t made time to read it, you should. Apparently, while I was busy being The Most Horrible person I could be, RA was carrying well-meaning balloons to traumatized children, feeling terrible that he’d never considered that the sound of a balloon popping might be a trigger to them, and making up for it by allowing them to crawl all over his climbable frame, impressing them with his artistically rendered punk-rock hairdos, overcoming his aversion to walls by building them with Legos, and taking up a broom after sharing giggles with a little Cinderella over it.

Sigh. I LOVED this tweet, and it reinforced my admiration of Richard Armitage as a deeply empathetic and generous man, with a heart for people rarely seen in the entertainment industry. It also, however, made me feel lower than whale dung, as I’d screen-capped it early in the day but hadn’t read it until after midnight, after we’d all retired. That’s right- I was too busy being the most horrible person I could be, and celebrating my win, to read the tweet when it first came across my radar.

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You see, this weekend was our second (kinda) annual ladies retreat at work, where our fun-loving but horrible gang of ladies leaves behind our pets, our men, and our children and makes for the “mountains” (which are really hills here in Oklahoma) for some time off to recharge. You might think, from the gallery above, that this was an innocent pastime, set in an idyllic lake cottage… but you’d be wrong.

Our retreat WAS set in an idyllic lake cottage, but… well, there’s the alcohol. And the wiener roast. And the hot tub. And Magic Mike XXL with whoops and catcalls.

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Oh, and technically, I suppose we didn’t leave all the children behind. There’s the knocked-up receptionist who swears she “slipped and fell” on, er, something… and ended up pregnant. She didn’t do any of the drinking, but the baby on board didn’t stop her from trading quips about the menfolk, participating in the traditional campfire wiener roast, and it certainly didn’t stop her from competing for the title of “Most Horrible Person”… though that title went to me, and handily.

That’s right. I won Cards Against Humanity, which is the WORST, most politically incorrect, lewd, crude and shocking game for horrible people. Like us.

I won it by a landslide. So ashamed, Richard. Especially after your compassionate, beautiful tweet.

Has anyone else played it? Because while our lovable humanitarian was  laying bare his soul, we were chortling away, answering questions like “When your boyfriend asks you to go down on him, it might be fun to surprise him with _________ instead.” With six players, each person has a turn to read a black card, and the other five play a white card out of a hand of 10. The person reading the black card is then the judge, and the best answer wins the point. In this particular example, I was the judge. Here were my choices:

a. Uranus

b. Multiple stab wounds.

c. Vigorous “jazz hands”

d. Fiery poops

e. Lance Armstrong’s missing testicle.

I mean, how do you even choose? Great, horrible answers, every one!

And damned if I can remember whether I chose “multiple stab wounds” or “Lance Armstrong’s missing testicle”.

Yep. While Richard was pondering the importance of Empathy, I answered “The best way to quell 1.________ is with plenty of 2._________” by playing  “1. the unstoppable tide of Islam” and “2. Queefing”.  I’m ashamed to say, I won that round.

So there were 90 questions, and we played them all. Final score? Well, I had 26 and the remaining 64 were divided between the other players, but I was up by 12. I was definitely in a celebratory mood right up until I read Richard’s inspirational account of HIS day, then I began to feel like the horrible person that I clearly am.

My penance? I made a donation to Richard’s cause of a dollar for every horrible question that was answered in a horrible way. It’s not much, but it made me feel a TINY bit better about myself. Thank you, Richard, for being an inspiration to all of us. I can’t say that I wouldn’t turn right around and play Cards Against Humanity again at the earliest opportunity… but I WILL promise to make a donation on behalf of horrible people, every time.

 

 

 

 

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45 comments

  1. Helen · March 7, 2016

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I haven’t played that game but I did give it to one of my nephews last Christmas! Rather wish I had kept it, now 😉

    Your weekend sounds idyllic. Nothing like a gaggle of women and a decent amount of alcohol to induce good times 😎
    Don’t feel bad, you spend most of your time being a wonderful human being 😃

    Like

    • jholland · March 7, 2016

      It was a ton of fun, even with the tide of guilt I experienced when I read about the Syrian refugee children. =) It is a fun game, though, with the right people!

      Like

  2. Servetus · March 7, 2016

    Although I am sure some would consider this a controersial statement, I believe your behavior is a sign of health 🙂

    Like

    • jholland · March 7, 2016

      #Facepalm. Yeah, looking at how that appears in the WordPress reader, with “Richard Armitage Impresses Even The Most Horrible People” and a picture of the Syrian refugees right beneath, it IS a controversial post. I DID NOT REFER TO OR INTEND TO IMPLY THE REFUGEES WHEN I SAID “HORRIBLE PEOPLE”!!! Oh, well. It is what it is. LOL

      Like

      • Servetus · March 7, 2016

        I don’t read it in the reader, so I didn’t see that, lol. I was thinking about turning off the Richard Armitage feed for most of a weekend being a salutary measure.

        Like

        • jholland · March 7, 2016

          Oh! Well, I have to agree. I mean, I don’t think I could have been HALF as horrible if I read about the Syrian refugees prior to the card game. =)

          Liked by 1 person

        • Servetus · March 7, 2016

          Yeah, think about good examples can be very hard on one’s ability to win horrid card games 🙂 I’m sure he would understand, though. And at least you guys weren’t ogling HIM.

          Like

        • jholland · March 7, 2016

          Not too much. Ogling, that is. LOL

          Liked by 1 person

  3. suse3 · March 7, 2016

    Hahaha! Well done you! You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if good old Richard had played that game as well. He seems to love a good laugh too 😉

    Like

    • jholland · March 7, 2016

      LOL! Actually, yes, he has many times demonstrated a wicked sense of humor! He might very well enjoy the game! =)

      Like

  4. Esther · March 7, 2016

    Oh my, this is marvelous! Wicked but marvelous! 😉 I guess congrats and commiserations are both in order…

    Like

  5. richardtreehouse · March 7, 2016

    I’m going to copy Esther’s line: “Wicked but marvelous!”

    Like

  6. Elanor · March 8, 2016

    I was confused by the headline first, but now I understand: you had a great weekend with your friends. To express your naughty side is good for heart and soul 😉

    Like

    • jholland · March 8, 2016

      LOL… yes, I didn’t really think that headline all the way through before posting it. And boy did we ever express our naughty sides! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. aquileaofthelonelymountain · March 8, 2016

    Hush hush, don’t be too strict on yourself! We all need some time for ourselves to relax and enjoy … and I think it’s also okay to be a bit “mean” or “horrible” or “politically incorrect” – especially if it’s just joking around during a lady’s night and not your personal forever-steadfast-opinion. And donating money is very nice of you, no matter what you did before 🙂 Besides, I think that comparing ourselves to lovely Mr. A is always tricky – I mean, despite calling himself moody, this man is always so nice and lovely and … arg. I can’t remember him ever saying anything mean, do you? So cheer up and enjoy yourself – you know, you can only be nice or do good if you are happy with yourself (at least sometimes or a bit)! ^__^

    Like

    • jholland · March 8, 2016

      Hmmm, not offhand, I can’t think of him saying anything too ugly. Naughty sometimes, and sometimes he makes statements that I disagree with, but his heart’s in the right place. =)

      Like

  8. linnetmoss · March 8, 2016

    OMG, I didn’t know the meaning of “queefing.” Until now!!!
    Don’t worry, some days I am Horrible as many as six times before breakfast.
    That “climbable frame” thing in Richard’s essay jumped out at me. I have to agree that he is extremely climbworthy. I would like to climb him myself. In fact, I’d like to install him in my back yard, amongst the bed of ferns, where I could climb him every day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • jholland · March 8, 2016

      Oh, YES!! I need a Richard Armitage climbable frame in my backyard, too. Or in the basement. Wherever, really. *snickers*
      Re: Queefing… that card HAS to be a frequent winner, no matter the question! =)

      Liked by 1 person

      • linnetmoss · March 9, 2016

        I should have known there would be a word for it.

        Like

        • jholland · March 9, 2016

          You learn something every day, right? LOL. I believe I had to ask the meaning of the word at some point in college. From the boys. Who had no problem making a joke about it, but were suddenly sober and uncomfortable when asked to define it. =)

          Liked by 1 person

        • linnetmoss · March 9, 2016

          Haha. That is so college-boy.

          Like

    • Hariclea · March 9, 2016

      LINNET!!!!!!!! ..
      PS. the ferns would chafe his lovely peaches!

      Liked by 1 person

      • jholland · March 9, 2016

        He’ll have to toughen up, then. All that climbing might cause its own chafing!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Hariclea · March 9, 2016

          snort!
          so who’ll be hiding those blue jeans and other evidence strewn around yer garden?

          Like

        • jholland · March 9, 2016

          I think it would be best to install him with no blue jeans in the first place. =)

          Liked by 2 people

      • linnetmoss · March 9, 2016

        LOL. My fern bed looks very feathery and soft (at least in early summer), but I’ll take your word for it!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. jazzbaby1 · March 8, 2016

    IIRC, Lance Armstrong Tweeted a photo of the one about his missing testicle because it came up in a game he was playing. 🙂 Sounds like you all had a great time!

    Like

    • jholland · March 8, 2016

      OMG, what a situation! LOL… glad he took it all in fun!

      Like

  10. squirrel.0072 · March 8, 2016

    A lot of humor, thank you!
    Now a few days after thinking of it, I hope that the approach of Mr. Armitage is really sincere and is not only artificial for media.

    Like

    • jholland · March 8, 2016

      The worst kind of humor, I know! (I do think he’s sincere. I really do!)

      Like

  11. Gratiana Lovelace · March 8, 2016

    LOL! All I can think of is … “two ladies walk into a weekend retreat …” Glad you had fun! Hanging with friends is always in good stead. Cheers!
    P.S. Pun not intended. Ha!

    Like

    • jholland · March 8, 2016

      Yes, this type of getaway is something I rarely do. I’m totally a homebody! It was a blast, but I was also incredibly happy to get home to the Hubby and the kiddos =)

      Liked by 1 person

  12. suzy · March 9, 2016

    Weekends with friends are priceless. I never had heard of this game but I googled it. Sounds very funny and a german version is available 🙂 Best for gaming weekends….

    Like

    • Elanor · March 9, 2016

      There is a German version? Thank you for the tip … 😉

      Like

    • jholland · March 9, 2016

      Oh, really? You’ll have to let me know if the German version is as outrageous! (And it IS outrageous… there were a couple of cards that were too offensive even for our horrible group, so we shelved them!)

      Like

      • Elanor · March 9, 2016

        So you are good women (after all).
        I’m trying to be ironic in English – don’t know whether it works.

        Like

        • jholland · March 9, 2016

          LOL… no, no, we are still definitely horrible women!

          Like

  13. Hariclea · March 9, 2016

    I can’t believe you made me google the q… word… at work!!!! you naughty women you! I didn’t know how to shut down the tab quicker LOL
    I didn’t know that game existed but it sounds like fun, especially after a few glasses of those colourful drinks in you stash ‘ggg’

    Why should you feel guilty J? Remember his tweets before that? LOL
    He’d probably enjoy a few rounds of the naughty game himself 🙂 And I think we’re better at being good when we get to be naughty from time to time 😉
    I’ll admit I found it rather soothing and comforting to read that and find that ‘him’ again after being rather angry the days before.
    Back to basics or important things 🙂

    Like having some fun in life and doing good 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • jholland · March 9, 2016

      Whoops! I guess I should have linked to the definition of “the Q Word” along with a big, bold NSFW warning! However, I admit I just about spit my drink when I imagined your rush to close that tab before the coworkers caught you!!! =) And you’re right… a bit of naughty humor is sometimes pretty wonderful. Though I must confess, it was more than “a bit”. More like a Tsunami of epic proportions!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hariclea · March 9, 2016

        well, weekends away are about ‘cleansing’ it all :-p letting it all out 🙂
        yeah that’s the problem working where i do, that you can search about literally anything 🙂

        Like

        • jholland · March 9, 2016

          LOL! but I’d love to hear the explanation you’d provide if you were caught… =)

          Liked by 1 person

        • Hariclea · March 9, 2016

          erm.. let’s hope they have bigger fish to fry than me :-p

          Liked by 1 person

      • Elanor · March 9, 2016

        So I won’t dare to google “the Q word” and stay unknowing … Maybe better.

        Liked by 1 person

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