(As Requested) A Limerick: Empire Magazine Interview

It seems Richard Armitage is the latest in a series…

And Empire Magazine puts forth quite odd queries!

But stop reading now

If your favorite drink’s from a cow

For his answer might leave you quite teary.

 

What’s In Your Pocket and Rate The Hair On Your Arse…

These were the questions, I assure you, no farce!

As Perry suggested

Here’s the limerick requested

Though rhymes for “genitals”, unfortunately, are sparse.

 

Samantha Fox and The Terminator once decked his halls…

But when asked for a nickname, Richard just stalls!

He never punched a director

He’s a more conscientious objector

But admits his butt clenches as he bangs his head on the walls.

 

I’d like to see that, especially the clenching…

And yes, we did know that he loathes a good drenching.

But we didn’t know before

That Armitage abhors

Being offered milk when his thirst needs a quenching!

 

Anyone hoping to see Richard on A Game of Thrones?

I’m sorry to inform you: your hopes have been blown!

He gave up on watching

Too dragon-weary? Shocking!

He’d had too much of wigs… who’d have known?

 

And then came the question I never thought would be asked…

Basically they requested “How hairy is your ass?”

Richard begged pardon, eyes bulged

No way on earth he’d divulge!

Then asked for clarification… did they mean cheeks or crack? =)

 

Thank heaven we’ve all seen those peaches before…

The answer can be found on Hannibal, Richard swore!

As to who wants to know

Well, *I* might, although

Hubby, if you read this, IGNORE!

 

Richard goes on to admit that he should have had stitches…

One wonders if his battle scar from Orcrist still itches.

He enjoys science fiction

Says Ex Machina was bitchin’

When he’s not battling elves or wrangling teen witches.

 

The weirdest thing he has eaten is an Amazonian ant…

I agree, that is weird, and as a meal, quite scant!

Sounds like he savored

That lemony “ant flavor”

An adventurous palate… but for myself, well I can’t.

 

The stupidest question that has ever been posed?

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how hairy is your arse?” he supposed.

Is that why he evaded

Having his posterior graded

Or is it more hairy than anyone knows?

 

When they went on to enquire what was in his pocket

Richard Armitage admitted it was only… his rocket!

I admit that I blushed

And then felt quite flushed

As my eyes just about popped from their sockets!

 

Richard Armitage does sometimes reference his vitals

And this time he decided his autobiography shall be titled

“My Genitals Are In My Pocket Right Now”

Suggesting to me he’s well endowed…

Sure to be a bestseller to all Armitage disciples!

 

That about sums it up, and I have to say

I enjoyed those questions and answers, RA!

Even if you’re of the ilk

Who apparently spurns milk

You know how to give good repartee.