It’s been a little over 2 months, and more than 200 tweets
Some of them funny, some serious, some sweet
“Guess what day it is today?”
Eyes widened as we shouted “Armitage? No Way!”
Reverberations worldwide as fans fell from their seats!
He called for “a table for 9000, then” after dropping his bomb
How many joined Twitter, myself included? (#facepalm)
It might have been fake
This request for bigger cake
But the prospect made it impossible to Keep Calm!
I particularly loved that early Twitter tease:
“I’ll tweet again next year” caused me to freeze!
Then came #onlyjoking
That RA’s so provoking!
But his hashtags are quite the bee’s knees.
His retweets were enlightening- he’s an actual dork!
(This was later confirmed when he selfied with pork.)
My shudder was involuntary
When he shared “Proctor’s Apothecary”
With a green concoction I’d hate to uncork.
Soon Richard Armitage revealed a contest he’d hatched:
To disguise his “Proctarian1692SalemiteFacialThatch”
His #periodweirdbeard needed our help
That #chinrugdesignidea made everyone yelp
And pork-free alternatives were promptly dispatched!
Richard’s next competition was really neat too:
“What Not to Wear 1692”
(With Digital Theater in the house
He didn’t want anyone dressed like a louse)
More Armitage humor was shining through!
He Approved Not of shopping on The Crucible front row
And joked Mamma Mia would be his next show
Apologized to Kristin as he confessed
#Therebeenafarmerinere, made a dressing room mess
(It looked more like a rock band than any farmer I know!)
One week after John Proctor took his final bow
Bearded ladies tweeted selfies (and caused quite a row)
Richard responded with a beard cartoon
#Youknowwhatimsayin his response to buffoons
(Actually, Richard, we don’t… but it was funny anyhow!)
Right after that came scatological humor galore:
Thorin #takingaloadoff #nobathroomprivacyinerebor
Some Dwarvish Tourette’s
(Maybe battle cries or threats?)
Puzzled even Tolkien experts, forevermore.
For his Sleepwalker project a dark figure loomed
His form in the firelight an unmistakable boon
Richard responded #Hehasathirdleg!
Then tweeted a selfie after enough admirers begged
It stole my breath and my whole day was consumed.
I think the next gambit was the big reveal:
Hobbit posters “fake” caused everyone to reel!
#Vegetablewarriors, Richard insisted
His “Elf Alpha” joke could not be resisted
(These sleep-deprived tweets are unreal.)
One shocking tweet certainly startled us all…
“Bomber is hungry…and Horny!!!” I recall
At first it made no sense
Then came Bombur’s horn so immense
Richard’s humor is so off-the-wall!
He delivers on Twitter and he’s such a scamp!
His comments and tweets have his own unique stamp
I hope to see more
He’s never a bore
Who’d have guessed @RCArmitage would be Hashtag Champ?