An Old-Fashioned Wiener Roast

I’ve just spent a seriously fun weekend! We ladies deserved a break after all our efforts preparing for the AAHA Inspection, so we planned a retreat for ourselves in the Arbuckle Large Hills Mountains and closed early last Friday so we could get on the road. We took 2 cars. The first car was driven by our office manager, and her co-pilot was our surgery tech. I drove the other car, and was accompanied by the kennel staff. I was supposed to follow the other car, but just in case, and because I know myself, I had written some instructions in case we became separated in the “mountains” trying to find this remote lake cottage. The first of many laughs happened when, in an apparently overwhelming desire to get the hell outta Dodge, the office manager sped out of the parking lot and I became held up for an unusually long time just trying to exit our parking lot. That meant they had time to reach the interstate and were well on their way, while we were still sitting at the clinic.

No problem… I decided to speed, and the office manager was driving slowly, so we all figured we’d catch them. After about 20 miles on the interstate, I apparently sped past them without ever seeing them, and then it was their turn to try to catch me! Apparently when they finally did catch me, they waved and made goofy faces at us as they passed, but the three of us were involved in a lively conversation and never noticed them. That was ok… they pulled in front, assuming we’d see them then, and eventually (probably 20 minutes later) we did notice them and questioned whether that was them in front… we weren’t sure, so we didn’t pay particular attention when they exited. As it turns out, I had written the wrong exit number, so we drove on past, which prompted the first call. Whoops. No problem, I took the next exit which was only a few miles out of our way.

The next step, once we got back to the correct road, was to look for a church called Shepherd of the Hills, which was our first major turn as we made our way to the remote lake cabin. They had called to say they would wait in the Church parking lot until we caught up. Naturally, we were looking for the church, but we were also chatting, and the third call came when they watched us zip right past the church! Feeling a bit embarrassed by my navigational failures when one of the kennel techs asked if my Hubby usually drives (the answer is yes!), it was that much more embarrassing when we zipped past the church again in the opposite direction. That time, we actually did see the church, but by then it was too late to slow down and turn.

I got a text from the vet tech at that point that simply said “Well, fuckaduck!” By now, we were laughing pretty hard and I’m sure they were too. The fourth call came, and the office manager asked if we had already opened up a bottle of wine for the road! We thought about speeding past them once more for good measure, but the reminder that there was wine waiting made us take the turn. From there, I was careful to keep up and the very competent team in front took us straight to the lake cabin.

Naturally, after checking out our fancy digs, we got straight to the business of drinking. I had brought 3 bottles of wine, 2 others had brought their own wine, plus we had beer, margarita mix and wine coolers. It was a little disconcerting when, only 2 hours into our vacation, we had already polished off 3 out of 5 bottles of wine and were feeling pretty raucous! Luckily, it was extremely isolated so if we were obnoxious, the only ones we bothered were the water fowl, and maybe the hypothetical stalker/psychopath we joked was just biding his time until later. Naturally, as women are wont to do when freed from their men, we talked mostly about men!


“Hey, you pervert, stop rubbing your wiener against mine!” “That’s looking charred, doc… they say once you go black, you never go back!” “I’ve been married 25 years, I think I can handle my own wiener!”… you get the idea!

Richard Armitage and a number of other hot celebrities were mentioned, compared and discussed, and our own men were fondly but mercilessly ridiculed, especially when it came time for the good old-fashioned wiener roast! (That didn’t stop us from wishing they were there to take care of business when it came time to start our camp-fire! That was a hilarious process in and of itself. “Blow on it! Blow! Blow harder” “Shut up, I came here to get away from that kind of talk!” lol) I can tell you that there are a lot of very funny remarks that can be made when the package of wieners comes out, and it’s time to impale them on repurposed wire hangers and hold them over an open flame!

We had a hilariously great time later that night in the hot tub on the deck overlooking the lake. I particularly enjoyed surreptitiously splashing water over the side from time to time, which landed 10 feet below on the fallen leaves under the deck, scaring everyone that something was under there… raccoon? The psychopath stalker? Nobody really wanted to be that stupid horror movie character who stumbles down into the dark to check out the source of the scary noise… so at least we had some sense! Lol. When they found out it was me, they committed a serious party foul and all splashed me, which I wouldn’t have minded except it watered down my drink too much. =)

The next day we watched the 1987 classic Dirty Dancing, and that prompted us to later make a rather embarrassing run to Walmart, where we made the humiliating purchase of tampons, additional chocolate for our s’mores, and Magic Mike. The woman at the checkout asked if she could come, too! (Amazing the difference 27 years can make in the progression of films about dancing.) I think it took us about 3 or 4 hours to watch Magic Mike, with all the rewinding.  Between all this, I found time to sneak off with my deRAnged Guylty badge, and get a tipsy badge selfie… There aren’t really any notable landmarks in this area, so I did mine with a landscape, instead.

Now I’m happily home. Anybody else ever been simultaneously hung-over and recharged? LOL


  1. Servetus · October 26, 2014

    Sounds like you had a great time! Alcohol is always my mood altering substance of choice. Aside from the fact that it’s legal, the whole way it relaxes all of the major muscle groups and leaves me feeling blissed out is a major winner. If I get a hangover, I’ll take an aspirin 🙂


    • jholland · October 26, 2014

      We really did have fun. Having coworkers you truly enjoy being around is a huge blessing, and we really let our hair down. And yes, the alcoholic beverages were pretty fun, too. I’ve been dieting for 5 months, so it didn’t take much!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Servetus · October 26, 2014

        lol, even better.


  2. guylty · October 27, 2014

    LOL – sounds like a great weekend. And I had no idea that sausage talk could turn so dirty *ggg*.


    • jholland · October 27, 2014

      Apparently with the right set of women and the right amount of inebriation, anything is possible =)


  3. Pingback: Richard Armitage Impresses Even The Most Horrible People | preoccupiedwitharmitage

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