Swisher Armitage, a Man for All Ages

Not long after discovering Richard Armitage, I stumbled across his lovely Bedtime Hour children’s storytelling episodes on YouTube, and soon after I had my daughter hooked, too. She’s three years old, and a proud member of the Armitage Army, CBeebies Division.

In keeping with the CBeebies script, Richard always starts off with “Hello, I’m Richard.” I’m not sure whether it’s his British accent that throws her, or just a kid thing, but she’s believed his name is “Swisher” from the get-go, and insists that we both call him by the especially sexy moniker of “Swisher Twinkle Stars”.

* * *

Several months ago, Hubby emerged from our daughter’s bedroom after reading her bedside story, completely baffled.

Hubby: “Have any idea what she means by ‘Swishers Stories’?”

I feigned confusion. “‘Swishers’?”

Hubby: “She made several requests for ‘Swishers Stories’… but I looked at every title on both kids’ shelves and I have no idea what that is. Maybe something at the grandparents’?”

Having a pretty good idea of what our child was after, and totally relating to her craving, I told Hubby that I would handle it. I entered our daughter’s bedroom with my smart phone, dialed up “Richard Armitage CBeebies Bedtime Hour” on my Youtube app, and was the instant hero. Poor Daddy, ineffectually searching the bookshelves for who knows how long. LOL!

Swisher Twinkle Stars… just look at those stars on his wall!

Daughter: “Oh! I love Swisher’s stories!” (That’s funny, I have the very same reaction!) I asked her what she loves about them, and that’s when she told me her number one reason. “I love his Twinkle Stars! Swisher has Twinkle Stars on his wall!” (OK, so I hadn’t ever noticed those. I seem to have been more focused on Swisher’s torso and arms, displayed ever-so-nicely in  tight shirts. I may have also been ogling some long muscular legs in faded jeans, and admiring his expressive hands….)

* * *

He does look a little mean.

Ever since that conversation, our daughter has refered to him as Swisher Twinkle Stars, because in her experience, “Swisher’s Stories” was just not specific enough, since Daddy couldn’t find them. The other day, however, new information rocked her world. Our desktop homescreen still features Hubby’s Crucible Poster joke, and in the past, our daughter has mentioned observations along the lines of “That man looks like my Daddy! But I think that man is meaner than Daddy.” Then the other day, for the first time, she asked who the “mean man” was.

I answered with “His name is Richard Armitage”, but she apparently heard “His name is Swisher Armitage”, because that mutinous expression of a three-year old who’s been told an ugly falsehood immediately came over her face.

“Mommy! That’s not Swisher! Swisher has Twinkle Stars and he’s NOT MEAN!”

(My bad. I guess John Proctor doesn’t float her boat quite like Swisher Twinkle Stars.)

I didn’t have the heart to correct her. So I reiterated the “Richard” part, clearly enunciating the difference between “RRRich-arddd” and “SWishh-er” … and all was right in her world again.