Limerick: The Twittergate Beard Scandal

On Saturday September 20th, 2014
A few bearded ladies caused quite a scene
The idea was kooky
But was it really spooky?
They tweeted pics some thought were obscene.

Using one hashtag, unaware they’d appall
The ladies tweeted #OneBeardToBringThemAll
Beards of every description
Caused such a conniption
An eruption of venom and gall!

“Disrespectful!” “Unladylike!” “Rude awful spam!”
Was sent to the man who donned his own beard of ham.
“He’ll hate it!” “He’ll leave us!” “Richard is scared!”
Some interpreted a demand that his chin be not haired!
Shame on bearded ladies, they all should be damned!

Mea culpa! I’m guilty! I donned a beard or two…
I took part and found myself right in the stew!
Though my kids were quite tickled
I find myself in a pickle
Having to bid my status as a “lady” adieu.

What I don’t understand, is Richard’s response
How could he treat such effrontery with nonchalance?
He should have ignored it
Or shouted “How horrid!”
That would have served, for the nonce!

Instead, that dreadfully put upon man
Tweeted a cartoon to the well wishers who should have been banned!
#YouKnowWhatImSayin was his remark
And those who were angry were sure it was dark
After all, he’s constantly dissing his fans.

Yes, he’s harsh with admirers, all those letters he wrote
The Stage Door, the autographs, despite the hoarse throat!
He didn’t mean it when he suggested the AA wear beards
Anyone who thinks so must just be weird!
The chance that he enjoys jokes, is all too remote.

No, he was enraged as he retweeted being called a dork
He can’t ever stand beard jokes, nevermind the pork
Not a chance he’d find humor
That’s just a rumor
No, RA was clearly quite torqued.

I think that someone should take down some names
And flag this monstrosity, send them down in flames!
Poor Richard Armitage, besieged all day with tweets
(He hasn’t the common sense to silence notification beeps)
And nobody, ever, should engage in these games.

To think these things funny, when they clearly broke rules
Why, someone must chastise these bearded lady fools!
Luckily for everyone so shamefully caught
Tweeting beard pics to Richard will be rightfully taught
There’s decorum to be followed, that’s why fandoms have schools!

If anyone reading this can’t tell a spoof
Or the satirical tone was not enough proof:
I loved Saturday and I thought it was fun
I assume Richard is NOT on the run
Let me assure you, I’m playing the goof! =)


  1. Sue · September 23, 2014

    Get another limerick ready…..RA is out on patrol!! 😏
    His latest tweets are a scream!!!


    • jholland · September 23, 2014

      If you’re requesting a limerick in dwarvish tongue, I’m afraid that won’t be possible. Scatological humor, I could doooo…


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