Limerick: The Armitage Affliction

Preoccupied with Armitage, but how does that happen?
Neck deep in a fandom, I’d never imagined
I was never the type
To follow the hype
But my Richard problem has yet to slacken.

On facebook and forums, blogs and webpages
Are countless admirers of all cultures and ages
Since few are harsh critics
I composed more RA limericks
To explain my Affliction in stages!

Six months ago, I was a normal wife
I’d not yet discovered the Richarding life
My downfall was fast
I fear it will last
But the pleasures it’s brought me are rife.

It began with an extended Pride and Prejudice kick
With Colin, and Matthew, and LB Diaries clicks
When I finished all these
I googled “If you liked P&P”
And saw a BBC drama that might do the trick.

With the Netflix app on my little phone screen
I was soon comfortably watching, my interest keen
Period drama from the BBC
On par with Persuasion or Downton Abbey
That was before Thornton’s first scene.

Then Margaret marched into Marlborough Mill
I laid eyes on John Thornton, and felt the first chill
With one shout at Stephens
My heart rate was uneven
From then on, it’s all been downhill!

Entranced with that smolder and each eyelid flicker
Lapping up that deep voice, like a fine aged liquor
Flutters and goosebumps when John proposed
And need I mention that long gorgeous nose?
Never has a man in cravat cut such a fine figure!

The train station scene probably sealed my fate
His tender hand such an elegant trait
How many times did I replay that kiss?
I’ve lost count, but I do know this
Its effect has yet to abate!

So off to IMDB I immediately sped
And was shocked to the core the moment I read
I’d spent 6 hours or more
Watching RA as a dwarf
But his allure went right over my head!

The next thing I did, after several replays
Was check Wikipedia without delay
Is Armitage married, who is his girlfriend?
Found out he was single, but there details end
And I discovered much more that day.

Pretty soon I was over at Richard Armitage Central
All the time wondering if I had gone mental
I stumbled onto his letters
Which hooked me forever
With charm and humility so gentle.

On Netflix I watched Harry, Lucas and Guy
Bought a new DVD player and a stack pretty high
Of just about everything RA ever did
All the while watching hot YouTube vids
Bemused to find myself so damn mesmerized!

I lurked for 2 months, and knew I wasn’t alone
Though among real life acquaintances, RA was not known
Before long I joined two separate forums
Where constant RA discussion is normal decorum
And I quickly found myself feeling right at home.

Heard about The Crucible, and I began to conspire
Just a quick trip to London before my one chance expired
How could I resist such artistry in action?
On stage, in the flesh, with no shirt- what distRAction!
So I approached the husband, which made me perspire…

Right about then, Hubby knew it was bad
Had his sensible wife gone stark-raving mad?
Yes, he’d watched Thorin, Thornton and Porter
But when did his wife become this fanatical supporter?
He neither wanted to go, nor wanted me sad.

So with Hubby’s blessing, the planning commenced
And Mom jumped on board, so easily convinced
That a trip to see Richard perform in a play
Should be marked on her calendar without delay
But any more than three viewings, she was strongly against!

Meanwhile, Richard Armitage got a wild hair
He up and joined Twitter and soon I, too, was there!
Even prior to joining
I spent each night enjoying
Pics and tweets from the Stage Door affair.

I never imagined, at the start of the summer
He’d do Stage Door ‘til the end, which was a bit of a bummer.
To my growing delight
He showed up each night
His endurance an ongoing wonder!

As for The Crucible at The Old Vic
John Proctor’s performance made me heartsick
What more can be said?
My soul John did shred…
Then minutes later we posed for a pic!

When I returned home from London, a blog I did start
As my Armitage Affliction is still off the charts
Before long I might make my own YouTube vids
In between doctoring animals, and raising the kids
As I wonder if and when Richard will relinquish my heart.

P.S. If you’ve read to the end, and enjoyed these rhymes
May I suggest the RAC forum for more good times
The limericks there are not to be missed
They cover each RA character, right down the list
And are one more addiction of mine!

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